


A Parent's Approval

by TsukiyamaShoe



Series: Sometimes You Get [2]
Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Arima as a father figure, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-07
Updated: 2015-02-10
Packaged: 2018-03-10 20:43:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3302855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TsukiyamaShoe/pseuds/TsukiyamaShoe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happens when Arima finds out about the new person in Sasaki's life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Haise went downstairs, rubbing his eyes a bit and yawning. There was no one else downstairs yet, he noticed, and he went to pour water into the coffee machine, starting it before sitting down at the small table to wait for it to brew. It had just started dripping into the carafe underneath when he was greeted by a sleepy Shirazu coming down the stairs.

“Mornin’, Sassan.” He yawned, his arms stretching overhead. “I’ll have a cup when its ready.” He motioned lazily at the coffee machine, taking a seat next to Haise.

“Morning, Shirazu.” He smiled a little, rubbing his eyes again. “Sleep well?”

He shook his head, sighing. “I couldn’t get to sleep for at least three hours. I kept waking up, too.”

“You do know you still have an hour left until you actually need to be up.” Haise shook his head, going up to get two mugs out of the cabinet as the coffee was finishing up.

“Yeah but I heard you get up and it’s hard to go back to sleep when I know someone else is up.” He held his hand out for a recently filled mug, blowing on it before setting it on the counter to cool a bit more. “How did you sleep?”

“Really well, actually.” He smiled a bit, sitting back down with the mug warming his hands.

“Well that’s a first.” Shirazu laughed a bit, waving his hand over his mug to check the temperature. “It have anything to do with that guy you went out with yesterday?”

“It is not a first!” He felt his cheeks heating up, hiding his face with the coffee cup, even though it barely worked.

“I’m joking!” Shirazu smiled, a quiet snort coming out. “Did you have fun at least?”

Haise nodded, staring at the brown liquid in his cup, taking a small sip to see if it had cooled down enough. It still hadn’t and he was left with a temporary burning feeling in his mouth. “It was...nice.” He said, before blowing on his coffee, which he realized he probably should’ve done before trying it.

Shirazu was looking at the clock for a while, turning to Haise before speaking. “You should get ready, you have a meeting with Special Class Arima today in about 45 minutes.”

Haise’s eyes widened, having forgotten about that. “Thanks, Shirazu, I’ll be back down in a bit.” He left the coffee on the counter, rushing up the stairs so he’d be ready in time. He quickly put his regular work outfit on, taking a little bit to comb down his hair that had grown unruly the night before. He checked his watch to make sure he’d still be able to make it in time while stopping to finish his coffee downstairs and sighed in relief. He’d have about 10 minutes to drink it, if he walked fast.

He went back down, sitting back down to pick his coffee up, taking a sip, thankful that it had cooled considerably in the time it took him to get dressed. He drained the cup quicker than he’d intended. He waved a quick goodbye to Shirazu, half-running to make sure he got to the office on time. He sat at his desk for not even ten minutes when an assistant came up and told him that Arima was waiting in the meeting room on the floor below. He thanked the assistant and opted to take the stairs instead of the elevator. He walked into the room with a table obviously meant for many more than two people and gave a small polite bow to the investigator waiting there.

“Good morning, Sasaki.” Arima smiled softly at him as he took a seat. “This shouldn’t take long, there isn’t anything new going on from what I’ve read.”

“Yes, sir.” Haise nodded, expecting it, as this meeting was just one of the regular check-ins.

“Well, there is nothing other than the usual in your and the Quincke’s files.” He gestured to the small stack of folders sitting to the left of him on the table. “Anything you’d like to add?”

“Ah, no, not that I can think of. There hasn’t been anything out of the ordinary.”

“Alright, we’ll meet again on the second of next month.” Arima nodded, before smiling a little to himself and looking up at Haise. “Now that that’s out of the way, I’ve heard you went on a date recently.”

Haise swallowed, quickly growing more than a little uncomfortable. “Well, I mean, yes, but it was just yesterday, so I mean, it’s not like it’s that serious, or anything.” He felt himself absentmindedly scratching his chin with his left hand, blood rising to his face.

“Relax, it’s not like it’s a bad thing to go on a date.” He folded his hands on the table, “And I’m sorry to say this, but are you sure they aren’t a ghoul or the like trying to hurt you?”

“Well, I’m pretty sure he’s not a ghoul.” Haise grinned, tapping his nose for extra effect, “I think I’ve been close enough to tell.” He took to staring at his mentor’s hands to keep his mind off the fact that he was flat out lying. “As for being somehow related to one, it’s true I can’t know for sure, but I don’t think he’s a bad person. It was...difficult to get to know him at first, but I do like him, I know that.” The last bit was fully honest, but he still felt bad about it, even if telling the truth would be bad for both him and Tsukiyama.

“I see…” Arima smiled at him, a soft expression in his eyes. “It’s good to know he makes you happy. Would you mind telling me his name?”

“Tsukiyama Shuu.” He said, rather quickly, surprised he gave the name so easily like that.

“A different question now, how much does he know about you?”

“Well, I haven’t exactly told him about...being part ghoul. It hasn’t come up.” It was only a half lie, really, he didn’t need to tell Tsukiyama about what he was, the man already knew.

"How would you feel about inviting him over for dinner?"

Haise's eyes grew wide at that. "A-Arima-san, what are you thinking?"

"Well, I'd like to meet him. I don't think dinner is that out of the ordinary."

"But I-I can't eat, you know that." Neither could Tsukiyama, but he couldn't exactly say that.

"I know. I'll keep him from finding out. Do you think you could go with it for one night?"

"Do I-do I have to?"

"If you don't want to, I'm not going to force you."

Haise thought about it for a short while. Eating human food would probably be the quickest way to fully convince him that Tsukiyama wasn't a ghoul, but it would be incredibly unpleasant, especially since he'd be scrutinized and probably unable to expel it before it started to be digested, since it was Arima. "I'll call him." He said finally.

"How does tomorrow night at 6 sound?"

"I suppose it's as good as any."

"Alright then, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Thank you, sir." He said, standing and giving a bow as he left, going back to his desk for the day.

* * *

He came home, straight to his room even though no one else was in the house at the time. He loosened his tie, sitting on his bed as he took out his phone. He tapped on the newest contact there, holding it to his ear waiting for it to stop ringing.

He didn't have to wait long, as it was only a few seconds after it connected that a voice came through. "Cheri, I'm glad you called."

He smiled as he heard the strangely comforting voice giving him a foreign pet name. "I would be too, but I'm afraid we have a bit of a problem." He bit his lip as he waited for the reply.

"Did something happen?" He was obviously concerned, if his voice was anything to go by.

"Sort of." Haise fidgeted with his tie, "Arima-san found out about us."

"Do you mean..."

"Thankfully, no I think he believes you're human. He just, well, knows I was with you last night."

"I'm not seeing why that would be a problem. Is it so bad he knows?"

"That's not really the issue. He, kind of, well, invited you for, uh, dinner."

A quiet laugh was playing into Haise's ear. "I guess it could be worse." There was some quiet rustling on his end before he spoke again. "When would it be?"

"You don't have to, I can say it would be too uncomfortable, he won't make me." Haise was fumbling with his words now.

"And what would that say about me? I'll go, it would be for the best overall."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes I'm sure, Haise-kun, now would you mind telling me when I should prepare for?"

"Tomorrow night at his house at 6." Haise told him. "You do know it's Arima-san you'll have to convince, he isn't a Special Class investigator for nothing. It would probably be impossible for you to get the food out in time."

"Yeah, no kidding. Don't worry about me, okay? I've had a lot of practice."

"I'm so sorry, Tsukiyama-san. I'll send you his address. Please be careful."

"I will. See you tomorrow, I suppose." Haise heard the click of the phone being hung up. He pressed the number, typing in the address of his mentor and set it down on the nightstand.

* * *

He was sitting at Arima's table, anxiously awaiting Tsukiyama's arrival. The clock told him that there were still 14 minutes until the time he would actually be expected to show up, but it didn't help to calm his worries.

"Haise, he's got plenty of time, and your leg seems like it's about to start an earthquake." Arima sighed.

"I'm sorry, it's just that I'm not used to this." He stopped his leg from shaking, unsure of when it had actually started to. He'd begun to doubt that Tsukiyama would end up showing up, feeling slightly idiotic to have even invited him here. No ghoul in their right mind would accept a dinner invitation, especially from someone like Arima.

“I think that much is obvious.” He shook his head a little. 12 minutes until six.

He practically had his eyes glued to the clock, the quiet ticking only serving to give him more doubts. 11 minutes.

"Staring at it isn't going to make it go any faster."

"Ah- yes, sir." Haise looked at his hands for a short while, looking back at the time soon enough. It was still at 11 minutes.

He had taken to looking at the watch on his wrist instead, finding it easier to look at that quicker than the one on the wall. 10 minutes.

The second hand just clicked into place at the twelve, signaling that there were still 9 minutes left when the doorbell went off. Haise practically jumped out his seat, as if he couldn't open the door fast enough. He was greeted by the vaguely familiar purple hair and a confidant face. "Tsukiyama-san..." He breathed out, unintentionally smiling at him.

"Good evening, Haise-kun." He grinned as well, holding up an engraved silver platter with a matching cover. "I hope you don't mind, I brought dessert with me."

"Right, thank you." He seemed to realize they were still standing just in the doorway, as he pulled it open further to allow him to come in. He took the plate offered to him in one hand, closing the door once he was inside. He took the platter into the kitchen, feeling something close to relief when he peeked in to see a regular cake, though he wasn't sure what he was expecting.

He walked back to the foyer, seeing their introductions to each other. "Special Class Investigator, Arima Kishou, I'm Sasaki's mentor." He said, quickly looking the other over. "It's nice to meet you."

"Tsukiyama Shuu, a friend." He held out a hand for a shake. "The pleasure is mine, I've heard much about you from Haise-kun." Arima accepted the handshake, putting on what might have been called a smile if one didn't know that he would still be greatly suspicious of the man in front of him.

"I wish I could say the same, of course I haven't had much time to speak with him lately, so I suppose it would be natural." He began leading his guests to the dining room, motioning for them to sit at the two places on each side of the head of the table where he would be seated. "Please, sit, I've just small preparations left, I'll be back out soon."

Arima left the two at the table, Haise still growing more nervous by the second. "T-thank you for coming, Tsukiyama-san." He said quietly, fidgeting with his hands on the table in front of him.

"Anything for mon cheri." He smiled slyly, his own nervousness showing through since the only one he was trying to fool wouldn't see him currently.

“I’m so sorry,” Haise whispered, unsure if the sentence could even be heard by the one across the table, but he didn’t want to risk Arima hearing him. Tsukiyama gave him a smile as is in confirmation, just as Arima walked back into the dining room with three different plates.

He set one down in front of Haise, showing it to be some kind of thin broth with vegetables, one where he would be sitting, and one for Tsukiyama. As Haise looked, he saw that he was given barely any of the food compared to the other two bowls, figuring that was what was what Arima was doing to protect him to some degree. Even so, Haise nearly cringed when the soup was placed in front of him.

“Thank you for having me over.” Tsukiyama said with his regular albeit confident grin of sorts.

“Of course.” Arima returned the grin, even though Haise could tell he was still suspicious. “Please, let’s eat.” He gave a small gesture to the shallow bowls before them all, blowing on a bit of it on his spoon.

Haise lifted his spoon and put it in the broth, not taking any to his mouth, as he watched Tsukiyama practically mirror Arima, even with a small compliment to his cooking. Haise only pretended to take a sip of it, though not letting any of the liquid to pass his lips, he decided it would be best for Arima to see him fake to eat it, since he was told that Tsukiyama didn’t know about him. The smell of it alone made Haise grimace, but he thought he hid that rather well.

The soup was finished with quickly, Arima taking the bowls away, only to be replaced by another, but slightly more substantial course. It was half a chicken breast placed over roasted vegetables which some kind of herb seasoning on top. Once again, Haise was given significantly less, his plate looking like most of it had already been eaten, but was strategically placed in front of him so that Tsukiyama wouldn’t be able to tell that it was originally like that. He looked up, and immediately felt guilty that the other ghoul was being forced to eat this. He seemed to be eating, and enjoying it, but it probably wasn’t the first time he’d had to pass like this. He smiled at Haise, who was silently watching the other two, only cutting up the small pieces he’d been given. Arima was still studying Tsukiyama throughout the second course, which was at an agreed end when the two plates mostly matched the look of what Haise had started out with, which was the same, just cut into smaller pieces now.

Arima brought back what was the last of his dishes, plates of stuffed pasta shells, Haise’s plate similarly constructed to the previous one, done up so that it would be considered finished to anyone that looked at it. Haise watched Tsukiyama eating it well enough that Haise could’ve believed that he really was a human, if he didn’t already know the truth. Arima seemed satisfied of it as well, as he wasn’t staring at him as much this course. It was rather quiet throughout the whole meal, still silent except for the quiet sound of the silverware and chewing in the third course. Haise drummed the fingers of his left hand on his leg silently as he waited for it to end.

He had a short amount of time to wait, as the others finished. Arima suggested they have the dessert Tsukiyama brought, which Haise declined, claiming baked goods didn’t sit well with him. He offered to bring it for them instead, the offer taken by Arima. He took the plates from them, setting them in the sink after scraping off the bit of excess food left. He heard Arima start talking once he put them down, straining to listen to the conversation as well as slicing the cake for them.

“So how did you meet Haise?” He’d asked, the sound of it slightly muffled by the piece of wall creating the opening to the kitchen.

“Well, I’d saw him first in a cafe.” Tsukiyama replied, “He was reading a book by an author I liked as well, which sparked a bit of a conversation.” He let out a small laugh, and Haise was listening intently enough that he’d basically forgotten about the cake he was supposed to be bringing them, wondering if that really was how they’d first met, the real first time. “We ended up going out that weekend to a small cafe I’d heard was frequented by that author.”

The story was ended when Haise brought out the plates, setting them in front of the two. He’d given Tsukiyama a smaller slice than Arima, but both of theirs would be considered small enough already that the discrepancy wasn’t noticed by either. “Thank you, Haise.” Arima said before taking a small bite of it. “I’m impressed, the cake is wonderful.” He did look a little surprised, as if he wasn’t expecting it to taste good at all.

“Ah, thank you.” Tsukiyama smiled, taking an even smaller portion off of his own.

Even the dessert was eaten mostly in silence, as no one was willing to strike up a conversation. There was less tension felt in the atmosphere, but Haise could still practically feel it on his skin. The two finished their slices at nearly the same time, and Haise took the plates away unprompted.

Arima asked another question when Haise wasn't in the room. He was pretty certain now that they knew he was listening, but didn't want to say anything while he was in front of them. "What is Haise to you?"

It was an incredibly simple question that could never be answered by a simple statement. Haise was looking around the wall at them as Tsukiyama was forming his reply. "My best friend." He said, his eyes staring straight into the bit of Haise's head that was visible.

Haise ducked his head back around, covering his mouth with his hand. His cheeks were terribly warm, and even telling himself that statement was more likely for the past him than the him right now wouldn't stop it. He set the plates on the counter next to the kitchen sink. He stayed in that place for a short while, gaining his composure back.

When he went back to the dining room, both people were standing. He was mostly certain that he'd heard everything they said, but he felt he missed something small.

"Thank you for coming, Tsukiyama." Arima said, shaking his guest's hand.

"Thank you for having me." It was past eight now, unusually late to keep a small dinner party going. "Unfortunately, I must be heading home. It was a pleasure to meet you."

Haise walked with him out to his car, standing with him at the door to the rather fancy and definitely expensive one parked on the street. "I'm sorry it went on so late."

"Cheri, I was expecting this to happen. I don't think it will affect me much beyond a day or two." He kissed Haise on the forehead, lingering for longer than was necessary. "I wouldn't think someone like Arima would allow me to get it out before it was digested, anyways, you don't get where he is like that."

"Why did you come then?"

"For you." Tsukiyama let his hand run through Haise's hair, giving his smile all the while. "I hope to see you soon, Cheri." He got in his car after that, driving off into the night. Haise stood there for just a second, heading back into the house.

He silently went, helping to actually clean the plates from the night. He was holding one up to use a sponge on a spot so it wouldn't dry on when Arima spoke up from the other side of the kitchen.

"I don't want you to see him again."

The plate shattered on the floor.

 


	2. Chapter 2

_"I don't want you to see him again."_

The words hung heavy around the lingering sound of the broken plate. Haise's eyes widened, his mind immediately thinking that he must have figured it out, everything, and it was all he could do to keep from sobbing on the spot. "W-what do you mean?"

"I don't trust him." Arima's voice was cold, something Haise had barely heard and never gotten used to.

He _had_  to have figured it out, what else could it be? Haise was struck still by his tone of voice, not ready to look at his face. "I don't- I don't understand." He was stammering, staring at the ground with the fragments of white ceramic.

"He's hiding something. I don't know what it is, entirely, but he was not telling me the whole truth."

Haise bit his lip to keep from yelling out everything it was that Tsukiyama had been hiding from him. He squatted down to pick up the broken plate, his hands shaking. He gathered up all the pieces that were big enough to be picked up by hand and put them in the trash can.

"May I...be excused?" He asked quietly, staring at his hands now.

"I'll see you on Monday."

Haise ran out of the house, forgetting his coat on the way, unsure if he'd closed the door or not. He kept going, ending in front of the house he shared with the team under him. The lights in the main room were on, and before he could think about what he was doing, he went around the back, simply not wanting to see anyone right then.

He went in the side door, entering through the laundry room on the first floor. He felt the temperature change when he went in, only just realizing he wasn't wearing his overcoat. He rubbed his arms to warm up quicker, standing in the corner of the dark room.

He stayed in the same place until he heard a pair of footsteps go up the stairs, leaving once he was sure they would be in their own room. He opened the door slowly, shedding his shoes before stepping out, strangely determined to not make a sound. He held his breath unknowingly until his door was closed behind him, a broken sob making its way out immediately.

He curled into a ball in the space between his bed and bookshelves, wiping his eyes as tears were starting to fall. He wiped his eyes and nose repeatedly, wondering why they wouldn't stop, trying to tell himself it was best like this, and it was a bad idea anyway. He blew his nose in his sleeve, continuing to rub at his eyes.

And then he heard a light knock. He stood up, wiping his eyes one more time as he went to open the door. But there was just an empty hallway. He heard the knocking again, three taps this time, coming from behind him.

The door was shut and locked before he turned around to see the shape of a person blocking light from coming through the window. He threw open the curtains, revealing the one person he'd just been forbidden from seeing, somehow squatting on his windowsill. He opened the window, allowing him to come in, but standing in the way of him actually entering.

"You can't--be here." Haise said, his voice wavering noticeably.

"Cheri, what's happened?" Tsukiyama's legs were on the inside now, most of him still sitting in the cool night air.

"I don't- I don't know, but you shouldn't be here--I think Arima-san knows something, and I can't s--" He was rambling, but he broke his sentence off, his hands coming up to cover his face as he let out another sob.

He felt arms embrace him, and he cowered into the slightly larger body. "Haise-kun..." The voice was soft, the comforting arms even more so as they started to gently run up and down his back. "You'll be alright, Cheri, nothing will happen to you."

Haise shook his head, his knees giving out underneath him but Tsukiyama held him up enough to set him gently on the ground. "But with you here, you can't, I'm not allowed-I can't see you."

"I guess it's to be expected. I doubt Arima will trust me, as I was mostly lying since I walked in. And it's not like he's an idiot about things like that." He closed his arms more, practically cradling Haise against him, to whom he pressed a kiss to the top of his hair, where it was black. "Does he know?"

"He didn't say anything, I don't think he knows you're a-a ghoul or anything, but I-I still can't," he took a deep breath. "I can't be around you anymore." He turned his head away, ending up staring at the floor and the bottom of the nightstand. "You should just forget about me." Haise spoke with a sort of deadly finality, the tears coming from his eyes not affecting his voice for one sentence.

“You should know by now that’s impossible, Kaneki Ken.” The hand that was still running down Haise’s back stopped, moving to rest in his two-colored hair.

Haise stopped breathing for a moment. He turned his whole body so he was facing the wall before speaking. “I’m not Kaneki anymore, Tsukiyama-san.” He took a deep breath now, silence enveloping both of them. “I can’t be, don’t you get it? If he...if I ever got my memories back, if I went back to being him...we would both almost surely die.” He was starting to feel uncomfortable being held but he kept talking anyways. "He...might be able to make it if he goes far enough, fast enough, but me... I'm just a created personality used to control him, I won't have a chance." He began to realize that his memory returning would only be a matter of time now. The thought scared him more than the dreams and visions he had.

"I won't lie to you," Tsukiyama said once Haise finished talking, gently wiping away the tears that were still on Haise's face. "I want him to come back, I want it more than anything. I've needed to see him, to see you, for so long I've forgotten how to live without him." He played with the mismatched hair that was resting on his arm. "Even so, I don't want you to go. Somehow I've fallen for you as well." He laughed, shaking his head a bit. "You're not as different as you seem to think."

Haise didn't know what to think of that. He'd lived these past three years believing whoever he was had to have been absolutely horrible, but the person that knew him was telling him the opposite. He was snapped out of his thoughts by a noise coming from his nightstand. It vibrated twice, signaling a text, and he reached for it immediately.

It was from Arima, and he opened it up to read the message saying: _If you're okay to talk right now, call._

It was an incredibly simple message that got Haise both excited and deeply concerned. "Stay quiet, please, I need to do this." He gently pushed himself out of Tsukiyama's arms, standing before pressing the screen and holding it up to his ear.

The other end was picked up as soon as it connected, the tone replaced by a voice. "Are you alright, Sasaki?"

It was barely a question, as Haise was certain he already knew the answer. "Better." Was all he said, not wanting to say too much, deciding too little would be better.

"I shouldn't have said it like that, I apologize." He said, and Haise had no idea how to reply. "What do you want?"

The question itself could have so many meanings, but Haise chose the one he only hoped would make the most sense to someone who didn't know what happened moments prior with the ghoul sitting silently in his room. "I want to spend more time with him." He hoped that answer was sufficient.

The line was quiet for a while as if Arima was thinking of what to do next. "I'll give you one month of trial, alright? You can do whatever you want to with him if you'll promise me one thing."

"Anything, please, I'll do it." Haise blurted out, covering his mouth as he worried he sounded too anxious.

"Whenever you go out with him, you will take your quinque with you, is that understood?"

Haise felt his mouth was too dry to form any words, but he found himself asking questions anyways. "Why? It's not like he's a-a..." He trailed off, unable to finish the lie.

"A ghoul? No, I don't doubt he's not, he wouldn't have shown up tonight if he was, unless he was mad." There was a rustling on his end of the line, as if he'd started walking. "But there's still a high possibility that he's connected to them somehow, and I don't want you to be hurt, Haise."

"I understand." He was torn between being ecstatic that he was still allowed to see Tsukiyama, and scared that the ghoul would object to having the case around them constantly. "But do I...do I really need the quinque?"

"As I'd rather I don't have to have someone follow you, yes. If you can go a month without him try anything, then you won't have to anymore."

"Thank you." He felt like he was about to start crying again, but he bit the inside of his cheek to stop it. "I'll...see you at work Monday."

"Of course. Sleep well, Haise." He hung up the phone at that, and Haise looked back at Tsukiyama with a smile now.

"We're alright." He smiled wide enough that his cheeks hurt. "He doesn't think you're a ghoul anymore, and I'm allowed to see you still."

"Thank goodness." Tsukiyama smiled a little himself, taking Haise's hand that wasn't still holding the phone in his. "Anything else?"

"Well...it is on a condition." Haise bit his lip. "I have to take my quinque with me when I'm out with you."

Tsukiyama's eyebrows raised, the smile faltering a bit. "You said he didn't think I'm a ghoul, so why?"

"He still doesn't trust you, I think." Haise's smile was replaced with a look of worry. "Please, it's only for a month, and I swear I'll never use it unless I have to." He was nervous about the possible rejection, carrying around a weapon specifically meant to kill the one he would be carrying it with.

“It’s fine, I understand. I just don’t get why someone like you would need it, if it came down to that.” He said, obviously making reference to Haise’s kagune.

Haise got a little uncomfortable at the remark, “I guess you wouldn’t know… I can’t control it. At all. Whenever I use my kagune, it, uh, ‘wakes’ him, I guess you could say.” He scratched at his face a bit, avoiding eye contact. “They have to inject me with CRC and afterwards, it’s, well, bad for me, and everyone involved. They’d never let me go some place thought dangerous alone with just that.”

Tsukiyama was seeming to be listening intently to what he was saying. “Alright, then.” Was all he said. “If I may, when would you be able to go out?”

“Well, I don’t have work this weekend.” Haise smiled, glad at the topic change. “Tomorrow or the next is perfect.”

“Thank you, Cheri, I’ll be sure to call you. But as it is already nearly tomorrow, I must be going now.” He stood up, walking back towards the window he came through.

“Wait.” Haise called, not sure what he was doing so for. “Would you...like to stay here tonight?”

Tsukiyama’s posture changed a bit, mostly unnoticeable from behind. He went ahead and closed the window and blinds. “I would love to, mon cher.”

“I don’t mean, well, I mean, you’ll just stay here, alright, I don’t want you out alone so late.” Haise felt himself blushing, barely keeping himself from stammering outright.

Tsukiyama shook his head with a smile, turning around. “Of course, I wouldn’t expect anything else.” He was enjoying how flustered Haise had gotten from that.

“W-would you like different clothes? It can’t be comfortable to sleep in that.” Both of them were still wearing the rather formal clothes they had been at dinner. “Just d-don’t watch alright?” Haise felt like his face was about to burst into flames from how hot it felt now, it was probably even visible in the dim lighting coming through the curtain.

“Of course, thank you.” Haise took two pairs of sweatpants and two t-shirts out from a drawer next to his bed, handing one pair to Tsukiyama, and went to the other side of the bed, facing the bookshelves.

He changed quicker than he did on any normal basis, embarrassed to be half naked around anyone else. He could tell Tsukiyama was going slower, as if he didn’t mind that there was someone else in the room, and he couldn’t help but take a small look that he would deny if ever asked about it. He saw Tsukiyama’s back, and had a strange feeling that the glimpse of it was wrong. Something about it didn’t match to the image in his head, and he had no clue what it was.

He turned around when he heard movements of clothing stop, averting his gaze as he sat on the bed, slipping under the covers without a word. He felt the bed dip down as the other got in with him, as talkative as he was. He turned around to face him, still blushing. “This won’t be a regular thing, alright?”

Tsukiyama seemed to be holding back a laugh, only showing a smile. “You seem embarrassed to say the least.” He kissed Haise’s forehead, finding his hand to cover with his own, almost possessively. “Don’t worry, I won’t get too used to it.”

Haise could feel his cheeks get even redder, if that was at all possible, and he moved himself a little closer, using the excuse that this bed was not meant for more than one person, falling asleep with his head on Tsukiyama’s chest.

* * *

He had a dream that night he laid in Tsukiyama’s arms. It was familiar, he knew, but was all too new, and all too real.

He was in what appeared to be a church, considering the pews around him, even though most of them seemed to be broken into splinters. He saw someone covered in blood, face down on one of the broken benches, and another person that was probably a girl, but his mind blacked out her face. The one person he could fully see was the person he was laying with currently, in the waking world. He had an ominous feeling about this dream, certain it was a fragment of a memory being shared with him. When he looked around, there was one more person he could see, laying on the table on the raised platform. They were tied up, presumably unconscious, as they weren’t moving, or maybe his memory was just unreliable of that person. He saw the girl whose face he was unable to see be kicked away by Tsukiyama, before he turned to where he was, at a low vantage point, most likely on the floor.

The pain he felt as the man’s hand was thrust through his stomach was too real to have been made up by his mind, letting him know that this memory was almost definitely real, seeming like a warning of sorts. He could only watch in horror as the Tsukiyama in his dream licked his blood off his hand, what was presumably an over the top exclamation of joy yelled out, but Haise couldn’t hear it, only visuals given to him this time.

The setting of the dream changed unexpectedly, this time out in the open somewhere, and Tsukiyama was in front of him again, swearing allegiance to him now, the sound of his voice going through Haise’s head as he swore to be a sword to him. He wasn’t sure what the words meant in their entirety, but he felt something of affection go through him as he heard it.His dream was showing him small pictures of fighting alongside, and what was probably training of a sort.

As a final scene in the dream, he was on a roof, walking towards an unseeable battlefield, when Tsukiyama’s familiar voice broke through the silence of his mind, saying “I won’t let you go.” The majority of the memory scene was cut out, as when he turned around to see, he was kneeling, and Tsukiyama was on the ground with tears pouring down his face, pleading. “For dear life, Kaneki…” He said, his voice as broken sounding as he looked, “Would you please not go?”

He woke up, gasping for air, sitting straight up. “Are you still awake?” He asked the man still laying down, though the answer was obvious as his violet eyes were still open.

“For you, mon cher, always.” He sat up as well, evidently concerned at Haise’s shooting up out of his short sleep.

“What kind of person was I?” He asked, still breathing heavily, as he usually was after a dream like that.

“Perfect.” Tsukiyama said without hesitation. “You were kind to a fault, and beautiful beyond compare.”

“I want you to tell me about it. Everything. From the beginning.” He was demanding it be told now, “Don’t leave anything out.”

Tsukiyama took a deep breath, resting himself against the headboard with a heavy sigh. “The beginning, huh? I saw you first in a coffee shop I was barely welcome in, you had just started working there, I learned later because it was almost right after you were operated on. It was run by ghouls, of course, they were the first to take you in, incredibly kind people, all of them. The first thing that turned me to you was your scent.”

“My...scent?” He hadn’t heard anything put like that before.

“I guess you wouldn’t know, but it’s incredibly different from anything else. But especially at that time, you had an incredible mix of both general smells of human and ghoul, and something that was really only you. I enrolled myself in your university to meet you after that. You were very wary of me, of course you had every right to be, after To-another worker at the coffee shop told you about me. I must say, I had quite the fearsome reputation back then.”

“What was your alias?”

“The Gourmet.”

Haise’s eyes widened in realization, he’d heard about the Gourmet before, of course, he was an S-rated ghoul, and the information about him was basic for every investigator to know. But he was presumed dead, as he’d not been sighted or had any reported killings for years now. “As in the Gourmet of the 20th Ward, that hasn’t been mentioned since over three years ago?”

“Is there another one? I’ve still a story to tell, you know.” He said, to which Haise apologized. “And we seem to be getting to the part I was reluctant to tell you before. I...tricked you into coming to the ghoul restaurant...as a meal. Though you probably would have never gone either way with how you were, and I don’t think that ever changed. I almost had you killed that day.

“After that, I didn’t see you again for a while. Until one day, I’d took a human you’d been talking to, and had you come to a church, with the intention of eating the both of you. It didn’t work, obviously, as you’re still here, and I suppose the girl is too, somewhere. You’d brought someone else with you, and there was another in the back that none of us knew about until she attacked me. Together you’d left me nearly dead on the floor, in fact you thought I was dead until I came back to the coffee shop after you’d been kidnapped to join their rescue team for you.

“No one besides you ever knew what really happened during that time, but it was incredibly and obviously traumatic. The next time any of us saw you, your hair had turned completely white, and your nails grew in black. You wouldn’t tell anyone what was done to you, but it gave you a bit of a personality change. Underneath it, you were still the same person, but it gave you what was mostly a completely separate personality. You were so much stronger and so very different, and I’d pledged to you to be your ‘sword’ as I said. I’d fought for you tirelessly, still with the overall intention of eating you at the end. Unfortunately for me, somewhere along what was nearly a year, I think I fell in love.” He smiled, with a longing sigh. “I love you, you know? It’s taken me so long to figure that out, but I do. It doesn’t even matter to be anymore if you’re Kaneki, or Haise, because I fell in love with your base personality some time, and I guess no matter what happens, it doesn’t seem to change.”

Haise was struck silent by the confession, all of it, especially the end part. The only thing he could think to do was to give him a tight embrace, and he thought he felt himself start to sob without tears. “Tsukiyama...thank you. Thank you so much.” He wasn’t sure what he was thanking him for, but it was the only thing he could think to say.

Tsukiyama’s arms wrapped around him in return, pressing his lips to Haise’s head again, pushing him away a bit to give him kisses on each of his cheeks before his lips, which melded against his. He weaved his fingers through the back of Haise’s hair, keeping him in place. The kiss stayed innocent throughout, ending when Haise pulled away in lieu for another tight hug.

“Shuu…” Haise said, surprised by his own use of the given name, “I think I love you, too.”

They ended up falling asleep in each others arms, comforted by the simple fact that they were there. Everything else would be fine and could be figured out in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was finished so much quicker than I expected it would be. I think I might continue this fic series a little more, with maybe one more story, but that the end to this one. Thanks for reading even though it's so heavy with dialogue near the end, I just wanted to get more of Tsukiyama's perspective in there.  
> Tumblr is seiiseragakii

**Author's Note:**

> So this one is going to be 2-chaptered and I've already begun writing the second chapter so hopefully it will be up soon. I was just going to have it be another oneshot but then it was getting way too long for that, and since the second chapter will immediately follow the first one, it wouldn't make sense to split it into two stories. Thanks for reading!  
> Tumblr is seiiseragakii


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